At the Airport: Everyone here seems to be in a hurry to board the aircraft... lining up hundreds long! This is one thing I simply do not understand. If you are lining up at the boarding gate, you must have a boarding pass, and an allocated seat... so just relax... the plane is not going to leave without you if you board last, and if you are worried about your hand luggage, don't be. The air crew are obligated to assist you with finding a place for it onboard, and no one is going to steal your seat. On a funny note to that... it is approximately one in ten flights I do actually find someone in my seat - apparently a simply alphabet and number code is too difficult sometimes, when it does not take much to simply hold your boarding pass up to the seat codes and find your match! :D Also when you board (almost) last, you are not blocking the isle for anyone else... unless of course after reading this everyone now tries to board last, causing a long line and... bugger, um... yeah - just board at 'your' leisure :)
In flight: People seem to always long to get home from work, sit down with a drink and watch some TV to wind down... which is effectively what you do when you board an aircraft. So this is what you do... stick to your routine. Especially for long haul flights where you are sleeping - before you sleep, act the same as you would if you were at home... have the meal, a drink or two, get up and walk around a bit, brush your teeth, etc - you get the point. The power of association plays deep within us, and it is natural for Humans to like and want routine for comfort and contentment. There is a myth that you should not drink alcohol on flights... this is simply not true. Yes, the air onboard tends to be dryer, and from this you can suffer from dehydration, but a 'few' alcoholic drinks are still hydrating you in some way, and they will help you mellow out a little too when you come to think of that long metal composite tube again ;) If you do wake up, take a walk around... the whole aircraft as far as the cabin crew will allow. Do a few laps, and you would have walked a few hundred meters, sometimes with a 'speed over ground' faster than the aircraft itself - freaky and cool at the same time :) Also when you need to wake, play a mind game of some type - Sudoku, Scrabble, Chess, etc... it is not about winning (except when I play!) but more so exercising the mind. This will help combat jet-lag's lethargic mental effects.
Food: The general consensus and facial expressions when mentioning airline food is indicating something we could easily live without and most likely never miss. True, it is mass produced (on a phenomenal scale), and that does take its toll on quality and flavour - even in Business class. So here is some refreshing news... there is no law whatsoever to taking your own food and drink onboard. Most airports will allow you to take more than 100ml of fluid onto the aircraft as long as you have cleared security and purchased it inside the terminal. I do say 'most' because some airports and transfer lounges will make you clear security at the gate. This being said, still one of my funniest (and confusing) moments was sitting next to an elderly Chinese couple on China Southern Airlines, who managed to get a 1lt flask of hot soup onboard - something they clearly made at home! If however you have no choice but to consume the airline's greatest claim to cuisine, remember that the air pressure at altitude is less so open any sealed drink and food container away from you to prevent it making a little explosion on your lap ;)
Disembarking: Another classic moment where almost every passenger seems to believe that unfastening your seatbelt and standing up as quickly as possible will speed up the exit to the aircraft... only to stand around at the baggage carousel for another 15 minutes or so. Certainly those with just carry-on do not have that issue, but this does not mean you are going to have any advantage when you are in seat 63B at the back of a 747. Many airlines are now changing their inflight entertainment policies, whether it be your own electronics (in flight mode) or their's, so you can sit back with no stress watching the end of that riveting movie, or actually catch the end of your favourite tunes. Then casually exit the aircraft with no pushing or frustrating other people while you clear the overhead locker... especially that person in 63B!
Finally... air travel is one of man's greatest and safest modern achievements, and in my mind something which should be enjoyed and respected. If it was not for the brilliant minds of the Wright Brothers, we may still be sitting in a ship taking 3 weeks. Well, yes... someone else would have eventually worked it out, so I don't think the world would be that backwards... but then after 100 years of commercial flight, still no one has worked out how to get passengers to board an aircraft selflessly and efficiently, or how to stop us all farting so much at 33000 feet. A bit like eating garlic... if we all do it, no one really notices it... and we all end up Sky High on our own flatulence! Oh the joys of air travel... Happy 2015 everyone and many happy landings!
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